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Looking Bleak

by Autumnus

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1.
Dahlia 03:52
lyrics
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I don't want to kill myself I just don't want to wake up Remove myself from this hell Or be taken somewhere I can’t wake up Joy is just an illusion So cut me up and Put me back right String me together Tell me I'll be fine So cut me up and Put me back right String me together Tell me I'll be fine My mind is diluted I can't hear myself think I want to disappear I want it to end I just want to give in To my empty desires Living like I’m in my death bed I don't want to kill myself I just don't want to wake up Remove myself from this hell Or be taken somewhere I can’t wake up My mind is diluted I can't hear myself think I want to disappear I want it to end Tell me I’ll be fine again And put me together again So cut me up And bury me deeper Death is an illusion Built up of my own solutions Built up of my own solutions So cut me up and Put me back back right String me together Tell me I'll be fine So cut me up and Put me back back right String me together Tell me I'll be fine Death is only an illusion Built up of my solutions In my damn head Death is an illusion
2.
Insignificant 03:34
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I can’t help these feelings today Fuck me for feeling this way I can’t get out of this head space For me this is a fucking normal day I need help In every waking moment I can't be alone Living in this noose My bed was made from the day I was born I'm not ready to lie in it I need help, but don't know how to ask Sitting here alone in my head wallowing in my despair I can't hold back everything I've ever wanted to say I feel fucking worthless when you look back at me When people tell me they say what I want to hear I know that I can't hold myself together My anxiety holds me down in this pit The noose around my neck is at it's breaking point I can’t hold myself up Please kick out the chair I am alone My life on the fast track Now I'm at the edge of the world And I'm ready to jump The edges of the ocean pushing at my feet May this sea catch my breath And this depravity hold me in the depths of something comforting
3.
Disappear 02:56
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4.
F U C H S I A 04:42
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Some days I can’t trust what’s in my head I can’t trust my own breath It’s taking my life Everyday feels like an everlasting pain Drowning in the overwhelming grey Colors so bright have dissipated Anxiety weighs me down like an anchor Each talk feels like a disingenuous end Afraid to be the only one feeling this way As I pull out my hair chewing my nails Covering every scar so I don’t feel Self degradation, this is just the start Draw my blood Take my pulse See there's nothing left There’s no hope left in this anymore My walls built up of flesh and bone The structure of a body My monolith of this flesh is gone I slip and fade into this darkness I fuck with this place I feel haunted I live for pain Burning sensations Born into me It paints my directions Everyday feels like an everlasting pain Drowning in the overwhelming grey Colors so bright have dissipated Anxiety weighs me down like an anchor Chromatic depression sets in Cascading disappointments Chromatic depression Cascading over me It separates me from my own mind As I pull out my hair chewing my nails Covering every scar so I don’t feel Self degradation, this is just the start
5.
Amygdala 04:30
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This voice in my head is picking me apart Im sorry I can’t be what you want This voice in my head is picking me apart I’m sorry As the rain falls like glass shattering my skin Smoke crawls through my lungs, so suffocating The water cuts deep down to my soul The flesh peels back This obsession of mine It's not healthy this is not in me How am I supposed to be feeling I’m filled to the brim with misery How am I supposed to feel I open my eyes to see There's nothing deeper than the well inside of me Self consuming trapped in my head Bred from nothing but self hatred These thoughts in my head Are tearing me apart I’m not equipped to deal with Everything I’m made of I’m fighting for my life Digging deep Soul crushing weight breeds inside of me I’m fighting for my life Can’t you see I’m drowning These lives you take And every mind you break Giving delusions “You don’t even exist” But killers contemplate Having your body count Every body breaks To the killer in our minds My cells rip from my brain stem I can't hold myself together I’m Tearing myself apart just to feel My body fighting with itself just to be one with nature Six feet under When did you decide That it’s alright For you to take Every single life You can get your hands on Fuck This obsession of mine It's not healthy this is not me How am I supposed to be feeling Not filled to the brim with misery How am I supposed to feel I open my eyes to see There's nothing deeper than the well inside of me Self consuming trapped in my head Bred from nothing but self hatred These thoughts in my head Are tearing me apart I’m starting to despise Everything I’m made of I’m fighting for my life Digging deep Soul crushing weight breeds inside of me I’m fighting for my life Can’t you see I’m drowning

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released November 20, 2018

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Autumnus Seattle, Washington

Autumnus is a five-piece metalcore band from Seattle, Washington.

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